Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Visual Dare: Up (Pride St.)

Courtesy of the wonderful Miss Angela Goff

“I have a newfound appreciation for the desert,” Daurian said, peering down into a filthy cistern beneath Walkj√∂ra. 
Drismatir grunted.
Daurian felt a jabbing in his rump.  He spun around to face a little boy standing behind him, a smirk on his dirty face.
The boy said, “I don’t think you’re as wise as Halvardr says.  Adults aren’t as smart as they think.  The only reason children are called stupid is because we don’t have age to cover it up.”
“Yes, but children lack the wisdom that comes with age.”
“How d’you know?”
Daurian laughed.  “I was a child, too.” 


Jo-Anne Teal (jtvancouver) said...

Hi Abigail,Am enjoying this world you are creating :)) I liked the interaction between Daurian and the boy. If you are so inclined, you might want to look at the young boy's phrasing. To me, it seems quite mature for a child.

Lisa Shambrook said...

Nice snippet, I liked the imagery of the little boy standing there smirking!

Abigail Earle said...

Thanks y'all! Miss Teal, that's actually one of the many problems I'm trying to work out! Any pointers?

McKenzie said...

I love this Miss Abigail! I agree with Lisa, that little self-satisfied smirk leaps off the page. :)

Angela said...

Ha!! Smirky, indeed!! Having a couple younger siblings really helps put some realism into that sort of thing, doesn't it? :)

We can work on dialogue in class, too...that's one of the trickier parts of writing a novel. But kudos to you for using the flash fiction prompt as a way to get some WIP scenes off the ground! Can't wait to see where this takes you. :)

sjp said...

haha I like that, 'we dont have age to cover it up' very clever